For Volunteers : Volunteer Stories

Spiritual – Somewhere beyond Physical

by Katie Harrison, Good Shepherd Volunteers, Itauguá, Paraguay

Spirituality is how we care for our spirit, how we relate to the spirits of our neighbors and how we open our spirit to the Divine Spirit that pervades throughout. Like the flame of a candle or a campfire, our spirits are greatly affected by the environment that surrounds us. Wind, rain, calm skies, passing objects or people have their effects on specific moments and become a part of our worldviews.

Living in Paraguay, my spirit has been enriched and fed by the people who live around me and the streets I walk through on a daily basis, the trees I see when I step outside of my bedroom each morning and the greetings I hear from my neighbors each day. These things have made my spirit soar high and my soul smile.

But that does not mean there are not difficult times. There have been moments when I have felt stretched thin, when I have felt incapable of doing more or that I am not strong enough or wise enough to keep going.  In the difficult times I have learned to rely on a spirit outside of, but connected to, my spirit and that of others. My learned reliance on this spirit comes with a sense of humility and openness to learning from all around me. At the same time arises a trust in myself, my abilities and the interconnectedness of my spirit to those spirits around me…knowing that this interconnection is where my strength is born.

I have found that staying aware of and open to this interconnectedness gives me the strength, drive, and zeal I need to continue on in my accompaniment of others. I am learning to not give up on or forget about the most marginalized and downtrodden. I try to always respect that each person I meet has a spirit that is just as affected by the experiences of their daily life as mine. Their strength and the well-being of their spirit comes from the love and care that I am able to give them; just as my well- being and strength comes from the treatment I receive from them. This understanding has helped me to grow in spirit and in zeal over the past year and a half.

I think of my friend Ariel who is now living in a home for boys who are dependent on drugs and all the struggles I have had with him. For instance, looking for him at his house at all hours of the night and many times not finding him, hearing him promise me something and wanting to believe him only to realize the next day he had lied to me. Practically everyone I know has told me that it is not worth it to continue my work with Ariel anymore. He is seen as a lost cause; he will never change. There were moments I went to look for Ariel, to talk to him, to let him know someone was worried about him or concerned for him, that I literally forced myself to leave my house.

Many times I have almost listened to the people who have told me that he is just not worth it, but for some reason I’ve remembered that as much as I’ve felt my spirit flickering out with all the seemingly fruitless efforts put forth, it was not okay to give up on him. I remember that Ariel has a spirit inside of him that is just as affected by his surroundings and the events of his life as mine is. I remember that in moments when I feel it is just too much to carry on, it is almost always the presence of someone else and their loving spirit that keeps me going, that strengthens and renews me with a spirit of zeal.

This past Thursday when I was sick in bed for the fourth day in a row, lonely and recovering from dengue, my day was brightened and my spirit began to shine brightly when I received a letter from Ariel. He has been staying in the home for boys for a little more than a month now and wrote to tell me thank you for helping him get there. In my lonely moment, Ariel, the boy I refused to give up on, made my spirit shine brighter.